Sunday, March 30, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Alive
I pulled the cables. I turned off the monitors and knocked over the IV trip. His eyes fluttered open and looked at me, even as his body shook and struggled. But his eyes stayed fixed on me, till it glazed over in the end. Eyes that had remained closed for the past two weeks, reopened to see the end. I kept looking back, even as they rushed in and dragged me away. They would not believe it and I did not say it, but I knew what I saw in his eyes. They saw him die helpless, unassisted. I saw him die just as he had lived, just as he had wanted- defiant.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Depth
Waves broke the stillness, foaming horses glittering in the sunlight. The horses galloped and pressed ahead, but one after the other they all sank into the stillness. He skipped across the water, leapt over the cresting waves. He staggered and went to one knee and got up and moved again. He ran on the surface, he ran on the edges of whirlpools and breaking waves.
Why do you run? They asked. Why do you move? He could not catch his breath for a while. The waves were too high. The water stilled for a fraction of a second. A pleasant break, but he kept moving. “If I don’t move, I will sink. It’s hard to stay afloat”.
“What happens when you sink? What’s under the surface” The boy’s face turned wistful. His footfalls slowed down a moment, then picked up again. “Leagues and leagues into the depths, colors swirling and changing, deep hues and shimmering greens. A world with no end and no beginning. Running under every wave, every runner on the surface. Connecting everything but nothing”. “How does it feel when you go there?” “Elated,humbled..Like you pulled the world aside like a curtain and understood you were blinded till now. That when you run on the surface and look ahead and back and to the side, you think that’s all there is but under your feet there is eternity and endlessness horizons.."
"Why do you fight it then. Why stay here. “Its not a place for us. It’s a world that is somehow ours but yet not, a world where we cannot live our days and nights. I go down there and I am raptured but lost, enchanted but terrified. For the depths are too vast, too timeless for me to do anything. I am a grain of sand on a beach there, a speck in the sky. There are shadows there. Of everything happening on the surface. Only the shadows are longer down there than the ones who cast it. And every hint of movement on the surface ripples down there, magnified. Insignificant acts on the surface sparks off chaos down there. The butterfly flaps its wings and this is where the storm builds”
“Sometimes I wish I never saw the deep, never knew it was there. For once I knew, the pull was always there. But it is a pull I must resist, for there is no living in the depths. Only giving in.But yet I must visit from time to time, for to deny it is to lock away a part of yourself, to close your eyes and pretend it is dark. But each time I stand still,, each time I sink, I fear I will never come back up again. For once you’re there; everything on the surface seems insignificant. Reality seems inconsequential. But then I have to remember that reality is beautiful too. That imperfect as it is, there’s joy there, there’s sorrow, there’s music…and the chirping of birds.
“So they why go down there at all. Why go to a world where we can't belong, where you cant survive? Why do you visit the depths?”
His footfalls slowed down a bit, the water rose up to his ankles, his knees. His eyes glazed over and a wistful smile formed on his lips. ”For a touch of wonder..."
Thursday, April 18, 2013
The Looking Glass
Taken on a Thursday morning, a child playing with his parents tools as they build up the Silicon Valley of India around him
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Whispers in the dark
When you sit in a dark room, with your phones silent and your mind alone, you start hearing things which you didn’t notice before. The sound of cars on a nearby street, how a frame of light separates the doorway from darkness to light and eventually, whispers of a consciousness long buried by everyday life, your own.
They say that human beings are social animals. Is that why we constantly seek companionship? Is that why we don’t like eating alone or going to a movie alone or going for a walk alone? Or is there another reason too? Do we stay connected all the time so that the lines between ourselves and the world blur, and you can’t tell yourself and the world apart? Does it comfort us to join ourselves to an incomprehensibly large whole, so that in the ignorance we can find bliss? Do we avoid keeping our own company because we are afraid of looking in the mirror and seeing what is really in our eyes; or sitting in the dark in an empty room and hearing the whispers of our own souls, unburdened by the noise of the world?
The universe asks you difficult questions when you walk a bit off the road. It asks you where you’re going and who you are. Questions you once heard asked, once tried to answer. Questions I hear again when I sit in the dark. Questions I know I haven’t answered and maybe never will, but questions they remain.
I have been lost, because I feared being lost. I stopped looking for my road because on the roads all wayfarers walk, no one asked for directions……..and ignorance was bliss
Saturday, July 7, 2012
A rant against supermarkets
Do any of you like supermarkets? I find them scary, especially the big ones, the ones in which you need directions to get to a 6 pack of eggs. I got lost in a supermarket once. OK actually more than once but that one I remember coz I had a hand drawn map from my brother in law to prevent exactly this scenario. It was very simple. He drew it exactly like what I would see when I walk in. But cabbages screwed me. I had an epiphany when I stood clueless in the middle of the vegetables section…I HAD NO FREAKING IDEA what a cabbage looked like pre-cooking!!! Oh wait that was the minor epiphany. The actual one was that supermarkets are unnatural places.
See for a hunter, a supermarket is a very confusing place. Suppose you want to buy some Goodday biscuits (One of the tasks my brother in law had assigned to me in the earlier mission). You go to the biscuits section and look for Goodday and what do you see? Goodday lite, Goodday fluffy, Goodday white, this, that what the hell. Immediately my hunter’s instincts screw me. See in the wild, my ancestors had it easy. You walk into the jungle with your badass bow & arrow or sharp sticks or whatever, the prey sees you, gets spooked and runs. As soon as a dumbass prey decides it’s the prey and runs, you recognize that it is the prey and run after it shouting with joy. The roles are clearly defined. But here…they hide in plain sight, alphabetically, mocking you.
Hence we get to my initial proposition. Supermarkets are unnatural. Of course, I know it makes things easier (if you have an aisle-wise sense of direction) and we all need to save time in our fast paced life. But I read somewhere that the biggest joke on mankind is that we keep inventing new things to make things we do easier to do and yet we end up working just as hard or harder, having as less or lesser spare time than before. 30 years ago someone would work a 9 to 5 job making manual entries in a register and now we work a 9 to 9 job even though we have computers. Coz with computers came SAP and all kinds of nonsense.
Just food for thought. Talking of food, let me head to Safa supermart.
What??? Never seen a hypocrite before?
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Declaration of intentions
When I think about writing, the procrastination goes something like this.
Step 1: I should write something.
Step 2: Who will read? And if I decide to spread it to a wider audience, do I want them to read what I really have to say?
Step 3: If I write it has to be awesome. I should think of something awesome to write. Or at least as good or better than stuff I’ve already written here in this space.
Step 3: Hey look a cat doing flip flops in youtube.
The end….
This is me breaking out of the shell. Or trying to. I say screw the typos, screw the lack of a well defined title. Screw coherence, screw sequential thinking. Embrace the madness. Insanity can be rather fun you know, provided you’re crazy by choice. I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about but you know what? I don’t give a damn. It’s my blog and I’ll ramble till I make some sense.
This is me, shouting into the night. I don’t know if anyone’s listening. And even if they are, I’m not talking much sense anyway. Lol. Hey this is the first time I said lol in bloggerspace. (screw victorian fukking written english)
Ok ok woosah woosah.
Let me try to make some sense. Where was I? ya. I’m reactivating this blog. Why?
Because I have things to say. It’s kinda like the SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence). Those dudes beam messages through radio signals into space. Reason? To see if anyone can get them, then ‘get’ what the hell they are talking about and reply. So far they are still talking one way into outer space but have they stopped? Hell no. From that I draw my inspiration. Maybe some froods out there will get this. Maybe not. And as for waiting for perfection, that’s like a batsman saying he wont go out to bat until he’s sure he can get a century if he does. “Don’t play the game if you’re not willing to lose”
This is it. For now.
If any entities out there are receiving and comprehending this, peace out!
oh and stay tuned for more as well.